chhailchhabili rocket

surrr surrr surrr surrr

aise chali meri rocket

udi durrr durrr durrr durrr

aasman se mili rocket

naam tha uska chhailchhabili

kar deti sabki chaddi gili

unchi thi sabse uski height

colors nikale bahaut he bright

baki phatako ke liye thi competition tight

aisa naaz tha meri rocket ko

par mehengi padi meri pocket ko

aagey se lunga me decision right

aur nahi lagauna phatakon mein fight

Mere mobile kee shaddi

Saalon pehle hui thi mere mobile kee shaddi,
Uske yaadein abhi hai mere dimaag mein taazi,
Mobile kee maa khushi ke maarey naach rahi thi,
Plastic lamination mein mobile ki dulhan jach rahi thi,
Mobile condom cover mein lipta tha,
Condom cover ka sehra uthana tha saaliyon ko
Isse sharam ke maare ghabra raha tha woh.
Mobile ka achanak ring tone baja,
Meine mobile ko mandap se uthaya aur call pick kiya,
Mobile kee dulhan ko gussa aaya,
Usne gusse mein mujhko poocha,
Kya hum chain se shaddi nahi kar sakte,
Meine bhi ussey bataya ki chain se shaddi karnemein
Appatti koi bhi nahi hai, aur poocha
Par jab mobile dulha ban gaya hai toh
Chain se kyun shaddi karna hai usko.

Art of Fart ...

Purr ..Purr ... Phat Phat..
Putu. .Putu.. Pusshhh ..
Fiss Fiss .. Fush Fush..
What a Great Push !!

Jidhar bhi jaun atank fehla dun..
Train, Bus, School, College mein sabhi ko dara dun..

Jo chode mujhe mile use bahut Relief..
Jo jhele mujhe, chin jaaye ussey Jeene ki Belief..

mujhe suno toh hota hai Amusement
mujhe chodo toh aata hai Embarrassment...

nahi hai ye koi Game of Dart..
yeh inbuilt hoti hai .. nahi milegi in any Mall ya Mart
sabke bas ki baat nahi yeh hai the "Art of Fart "

aur fir...............

ek din mere gharpe naya wallclock lagana tha
toh fir mein market gaya
accha dukaan mila aur wallclock select karna chalu kiya
kai derr baad maine ek wallclock chuna

market se ghar bahaut dur tha
is liye fir maine rickshaw ki
usne 'Tennu mein le jawa' yeh gana lagaya tha
jab mein bulding ke yahan pocha aur wallet nikala
toh fir pata chala ki chutta nai hai

fir ussey kahaan jara agey ek mithaiwala hai waha chal
wohi jiski chimni moholle mein ghosh ki bhi dukaan hai
toh jab mein wahan gaya, tab woh dukaan band tha
aur fir
aur fir......................................

Kahaani har kadke ki

kahan gaye hamare wo din
jab hum the, rich as bill gates
ab toh film dekhne se pehle bhi
check karne padte hai rates
ek saal se chhayi hai kadki
taapna bhi band kar di hai humne ladki
har mahine holidays jaane ka mann hota hai
par bank balance dekh kar dil rota hai

savings kabhi hamare samajh na aai
ban kar rah gaye aaj ka subhash ghai
recession ne humko aise toda
premium whisky se sidha
cutting pe laake chhoda
bol raha hun main sachchi baat
gayab ho gaye hamare wo din
jaise bhavendre ka ek daat

jaldi lautenge wo din karta hun asha
karenge aids awareness campaign
bach jayega balbir pasha
lekin wo din kab aayenge??
wo din aayenge toh karenge ye sab.

naak mein phodi

badi badi kaali si
naak mein aayi doh phodi
khoob suhaani lagti thi
un dono ki jodi

bada pareshaan hota tha
jab naak mein daalta tha ungli
dard na hoe isiliye
band ki maine karna chugli

dhire dhire badal gayi
naak ki shape phodi ki wajah se
akhir me laga diya cream
aur rehene lagha majeh se

rookha sookha matka

pani ke liye kahaan nai bhatka
akhri boond jo tha nal mein latka
dimag tha uska bahaut khatka
hai yeh ek rookha sookha matka

dhund raha tha woh pani
in the desert of sahara
dhup se woh thak gaya tha bahaut bechaara
aise mein dikha ussey maraa hua oont
socha karte hai iske hump se pani ki loot

matke pe aya crack pani churate waqt
hat gaya dimag uska kahaan what the f***
akhir maan hi liya usne ke
nai hai mera koi luck
nai hai mera koi luck

Door Bell

Ring Ring !! Ring Ring !!
Ring Ring !! Ring Ring !!

Mai telephone nahi.. but hu ek simple sa Door Bell..

Sabhi aate mujhe daba k jaate..
Bache, Bade, Boodhey sab mil baat kar khate..
Khane se yaad aaya, mujhe nahi lagti Bhook..
Kyu ki mai hu ek bahut hi ganda Cook..
Din bhar baj baj k pareshaan ho gaya hun..
Bina receiver ka telephone ho gaya hun ..
Mujhe chahiye koi aisa backup..
Jo jaldi nahi karega pack up...
Nahi koi mere jaisa darling
Ye hai zabardasti ki rhyming :) ..

Ring Ring !! Ring Ring !!
Ring Ring !! Ring Ring !!

Cockroach mera yaar!!

Kaala sa.. Nanha sa.. hai mera yaar..
kisi ko pata nahi, mujhe us sey kitna hai pyaar??
Chur chur kare daudta idhar udhar..
Din mein nahi aata.. Raat mein milta chahe jidhar
Uske hai pyaare se sirf 2 baal...
Pair k niche aaye toh nikalta uska Khaal..


Ek din aaye 2 shikari..
Dono ne milke ek dawai failayi..
Chik chik ke rone laga mera nanha yaar..
Dawai se ho gaya tha wo Bimaar..
Fir usne "Police Hospital" phone lagai..
Aur ICU se usne compalint likhai ..
Ambulance mein puri Police force aayi..
Shikariyon ko theek sabak shikahyi..

Mujhe mere dost pe aane laga aur pyaar....
Cockroach mera yaar!!
Cockroach mera yaar!!
Cockroach mera yaar!!

Ladki ka chakkar

Mudruk mudruk mudruk
Mudruk mudruk mudruk
Mud mud ke ruk ruk ke
Chal rahi thi woh.
Mujhe samajh nahi raha tha,
Kya chahiye isko.
Fir mujhe dekhe uske diye smile
Nikal gayi mere paaron ke niche se tile.
Fir usne photo lee meri from her mobile
Mujhe laga fida hui woh on my style.
Pocha meine logon se kaun hai yeh hottie
Jo dekhke mujhe ho gayi thi naughty
Mere paas aake usne maanga mera number
Mujhe aisa laga jaise lottery lagi ho bumper
Agley din mujhko phone aaya uska
Mujhe laga setting ho gaya hai pakka
Hum karne wale theey lunch saath saath
Lekin hotel jabh pohocha meri lag gayi waat
Meine dekha uske saath tha ek ladka
Meine poocha ussey kaun hai yeh hasti.
Boyfriend nikla woh us ladki kee
Poocha toh pata chal apne doston ke saath
Truth stare dare kal khel rahi thi ,
isiliye bakra mera thi bana rahi.
Meine kaha aagey se na aana mere paas
Pasand nahi mujhe aise waise bakwaas.

Pappu Ek Gappu

safed safed pyaara pyaara
sabko usne apne looks se maara
chote chote hoat, aankehin choti choti
bin bataya karta tha woh pharz pe potty

na ruke kahipe woh, bhage idhar udhar
kar deta tha gandha woh jaye jidhar jidhar
par tv chalu hote he bethe ek jagah
par tv chalu hote he bethe ek jagah
sochte rehete they hum kya hogi wajah

janne ne ke liye
humne kahi plan kiye
fir aayi ek raat jab tv dekh raha tha woh
kyunki chalu tha tv pe ek late night show

baapu ne kiya decide
tham liya ki now he wont reside
leke gaye ussey mere dad
jisne kar diya tha pure family ko mad

Sarkari kachre ka dabba

Mein hun raaste mein pada sa
Jaise taalab mein pathar khada sa,
Mujhe mein sabjee hai thoda sada sa.
Kitne janwaron kee lash hai,
mein batau kya?
Sunaa hai meine ke duniya mein
Chitti se leke sherni tak.
Paani se leke sooraj tak,
Sab karte hai apna apna kaam,
Par sarkaari karamchaari hai woh
Jo karta hai sirf aaram.
Jinhe lagta hai sarkari numainde kaam nahi karte
Galat sochte hai woh, kyunki mujhe dekho
Mere parivaar ko dekho, hai toh hum sarkaari hee
Par kabhi aaram nahi karte.

Pant

Kahin dur ek tha shopping mall
sab ke lie, it was for all
wahan pe fir wo ayee
Sab shirts ke upar wo chayee
sarees ne kahan ye to hai badi scant
lekin wo thi gorgeous,
Naam tha uska Sexy the Pant

Ashiq uske badhte gaye
jaise din fir gujarte gaye
fir hua ek din badasa rada
jab tha mall me raid pada
police ayi dhoondne cocaine
pakdi unhone illegal shirts ki chain
police ki to fir wah wah ho gayee
lekin raid ke chakkar me pant fat gayee
pant fat gayee

Shabd kosh

chapak chapak dubuk dubuk
hudup hudup gudum gudum
tabun tabun sulup sulup
lagul lagul tuduk tuduk
Yeh shadb saare aise hai,
kya batau mein kaise hai.
Inka matlab na kisine jaana,
par jab likhna ho accha gaana
kavita ya kissa purana
karna padta hai inka upyog.
In words bina aisa lagta hai
Jaise kavita ko ho gayi ho
koi bhayankar rog.

mangoor dekhe tukoor tukoor

hamesha dekhe woh humko tukoor tukoor
kyunki hum karte uske iraade chakna choor
talent ke naam pe tha uske paas sirf jhoot
isliye na hue uske ideas kahaan bhi suite
banna chahta tha college ka hero
at the end of the day, output rahta zero

naam tha kuch aur lekin tha woh zhingoor
bhale log ussey naam se bulaye,
hum toh bulate they mangoor
hamesha dekhe woh humko tukoor tukoor
kyunki hum karte uske iraade chakna choor

tha woh class ka monitor
banana tha usey ek nayi 'Terminator '
khwayeishein bahaut par tha dimag guttor
hamesha dekhe woh humko tukoor tukoor
kyunki hum karte uske iraade chakna choor

chawe bante they hum log har day
nikla tha woh just andese one day
na ussey pata koi president na greenday
aisa tha woh zhingoor
hamesha dekhe woh humko tukoor tukoor
kyunki hum karte uske iraade chakna choor

immitate karneki uski bharpur koshish
hume piche karne ki bharpur sajish
hamesha dekhe woh humko tukoor tukoor
kyunki hum karte uske iraade chakna choor

Sirf showoff se banne chala tha chhaava
karna chahta tha solo 'balle balle shaava shaava'
bhul gaya ki koi aur the adorables
aur wo rah gaya tha sirf ignorable
bhul gaya tha woh
chaavon ke pass hote hain ideas concrete
aur bachche nahi karte daddy se compete

yehi hai mangoor ka defination
jo hai similar to defecation
nahi hai uska koi combination
through out the nation...

Main aur mera...

Isse pehle socho tum ganda
kehdu main, main nahi waisa banda
main aur mera....khayal
pada hai mujhe bohot baar bhaari
isliye izzat se lene aai hai
kai baar mujhe police ki gaadi

Mera khayal jaise
bush pe pada hua joota
jaise bhushan ko bhavedre ne loota
kabhi mera khayal jaise angelina jolie
kabhi mera khayal jaise hindi ne english boli

yeh sab dekh kar
mere dost bolte hai
tu aisa kaisa hai?
kya batau dosto
tumko toh maloom hai
MERA KAISA HAI....

Brush - The Warrior

Jabhi meri brush mere muh mein aati,
Tasty tasty tooth paste zaroor saath lati.
Meri brush kitanuon ko chun chun ke maarti,
Aur jabhi unmein fight hoti, kabhi na haarti.
Ek din brush wahan jaa pohochi,
jahan jaane ke liye usne janam lee thi.
Muh mein tha mera ek cavity bada sa.
Jo brush ne andar jaake tha discover kiya.
Cavity toh dentist ne theek kardi.
Par brush meri bechaari si,
Ho gayi thi ghayal,
in daathon ke keedhon se
ladh ladh ke ladh ladh ke,
Jhansi ki rani ki tarah.

macchar ko hua malariya

Ek machchhar tha macho
story hai uski touching
hasta khelta tha subah
bimar pad gaya in evening

doston ko laga shayad
hit ya goodnight ne hoga maara
lekin usne khoon piya tha uska
jisne kiya tha ghotala chaara

admit karna pada ussey
macchar the macho log kehete the jisse
purey moholley mein phel chuki thi news
akhir tak sab they confuse

doctor ko upchaar karke pata chala
macho ko hua hai malariya
nek tha bada woh bechara
jisme tha bada jigariyaa

Ramu bharose hindi films

yeh apki sarkar hai...
kuch dekho toh ye haal hai...

naach na jane angan tedha...
producers ko banaya tune yeda...
bhoot ka raag tune cheda...
shana bankar khata hai peda...

yeh apki sarkar hai...
kuch dekho toh yeh haal hai...

Ab darna zaruri hai...
kyuki faltu teri story hai...
audience main nafrat ki aag hai...
kya kare hum tu agyaat hai...

yeh apki sarkar hai...
kuch dekho toh yeh haal hai...

Andho ka vision tu...
start ka conclusion tu...
south ka fusion tu...
bolly tolly ka confusion tu...
sar par badnami ka taj hai...
isliye yeh haal hai...

yeh apki sarkar hai...
kuch dekho toh yeh haal hai...

cinema mein anticipation hai...
ki kab interval session hai...
kutte ki taraha bhagte hai...
aisa kya frustration hai...
teri iss kahani ka end nahi hai bhai...

yeh apki sarkar hai...
kuch dekho toh yeh haal hai...

Ab battao apka kya khayal hai?

Maara Maari

Dishum Dishum Dishum
Maar kha raha tha Villain
Kyunki woh rok raha tha Hero heroine ka milan
Baat yeh tab ki hai
Jab baag mein khile te phool
Ud rahi thi dhul
Aur release hui thi Shool
Hero heroine ko picture dikhane le gaya
Par Villian ne program cancel kiya
Woh nahi de raha tha unko ticket
Aur aane laga heroine ke nikat
Hero seh na saka atyachaar
Usne aar dekha na paar
Kar diya villian pe waar
Aur Villian ki haalat hui bekaar

diaper ki laash

chota chota nanha nahha
laal rang ka diaper
jo bacche ko lagta tha pyaara hyper

dono saath rehete the, saath saath ghum te the

bachhe ko agar karni he susu
toh na kabhi woh darta
kyunki har ek bund ko diaper sokh leta...

aj usi diaper ki maut pe hum karte hai maun
kyunki aj ke baad usko poochega kaun...

Himmat

Sikandar ek din mere paas aaya,
Thoda sharmaya thoda ghabraya,
Curiosity thi uske mann mein,
Aur na taaqat bachi thi uske tan mein,
Meine Sikandar se kaha woh chala jaaye,
Laut ke fir kabhi na wapas aaye
Sikandar aur zyada darr gaya,
Aur seedhey apne ghar gaya.

Main insaan hoon ya hoon gadha bhai

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein feelings aayi
Main insaan hoon ya hoon gadha bhai

Saari umar dar dar ki thokrein khayi
Zindagi bhar arithmetic samaj main na aayi
Main insaan hoon ya hoon gadha bhai

Science chod media ki yaad aayi
Shayad fail hone se main darr gaya tha high
Main insaan hoon ya hoon gadha bhai

Kavita nahi ye meri zindagi ki story hai bhai
Mujhe ye ajeeb duniya samaj main na aayi
Main insaan hoon ya hoon gadha bhai.....

mendhak ke pet hua kharab

gudbud gudbud aise awaj aye mendhak ke pet se
sochne laga mendhak kya kha liya maine aise
daraw daraw daraw daraw chillata raha woh aise
koi tu poocho ussey
kyun nikal raha hai woh awaj aise

Kutte ki Cycle

Mere kutte ka naam hai Darling Michael

Jisko jaan se p yaari hai uski cycle

Woh har waqt karta hai apne cycle ko miss

Raatko sone se pehle bhi usko karta hai kiss

Subeh uthte hee log brush - snan - kangi karte hai

Saare stray dogs khaane kee talash mein gali gali guzarte hai

Par Michael na time pe khaana khata hai

Jab dekho cycle ke paas jaake apni taang uthata hai

Aaj ka Actor

Pachaas flop filme karke usko sharam nahi aayi

Party mein bin bulaaye jata hai pehan ke tie,

Aise log actors kyun bante hai

I don’t know Why? I don’t Know Why?

Ladkiyon se chipakne mein usse aata nahi shy

Daabake khata hai fruits woh dry

7 star mein jaake peeta hai chai

I don’t know Why? I don’t know Why?

2 Kaudiyon ka actor hai woh

Chaar paise ka kaam aata nahi usko

Fir bhi laakhon mein hai uski kamaaye

I don’t know Why? I don’t know Why?

Kaun Hoon Main

kaun hoon main...
kaun hoon main...

na main koi akka,
na koi bhuna hua makka,
na main bhushan,
na main koi pradushan,
na main koi avinoton,
na anti virus Norton,
na main vicky loan,
na koi MTNL ya Vodafone,

kya aircel ka kharab network hoon main?

kaun hoon main...
kaun hoon main...

na main koi maggi,
na scooby doo ka sheggi,
na main chirag,
na dhande ki raag,
na main koi khemani,
na bottal wiskey purani,
na main aabba,
na kailash ka dhaba,

Kya mung ki baasi dal hoon main?

kaun hoon main...
kaun hoon main...

na main ye hindi,
na kavi koi chindi,
na main koi anju,
na kisi ka beeta sanjuuuu,
na main anna,
na kisi khet ka gaana,
na main bulla,
na raas gulla,

kya laddu par makhhi ki laash hoon main?

kaun hoon main...
kaun hoon main...

na main amit patel,
na episode of ducktale,
na main pooja,
na aadmi koi dujja,
na main koi tina,
na main kambakht kareena,

kya Saif ke haath ka tatoo hoon main...

Kya xa** hoon main... kya xa** hoon main

ghar ghar ke booddhe

budhape mein insaan ban jata hai vegetable,
kisi bhi cheeze ke liye woh reheta hai not capable..
na ho chalu tv na ho chalu cable,
radio sunke dil behela leta hai coz he is adjustable...

poocho muzse itna booddhon pe focus kyun
poocho muzse itna booddhon pe focus kyun...(dono kyun mein dard hai)
arey bhai its just my view...

Windows

Ek sube ko mujhe aya ek email
From a gorgeous sweet female
Fir kya, me to fullon chuta tha
Background me downloading bhi suru tha

Fir wo boli, sanam hame hai kasam,
Aap abhi han bol dijiye, na kariye sitam
Mera hearbeats fir ganda dauda tha
lekin sala tabhich samne blue screen khada tha

Alvida

Wo kisi andhere kuwe me khada tha
Jis bareme usne kahi pe padha tha
Andhera ghanasa chaya
Jab use ek sap sungh ke gaya

Uske badan me jaise fir paralysis hua
Kahin salon tak fir analysis hua
Fir bhi wo chava banke jite raha
Doctors ko pilake khudbhi pite raha

Ab kabhi to sento sham ko use yaad aati hai
Uske seene me hara hara sailab lati hai
Fir wo bolta hai "e khuda,
kya pak raha hai yaar.. bolun kya alvida?"

Gadhe ki Shaadi

Ek gadhe ko hua ghodi se pyaar
valentine day ke din usne
ghodi se confess kiya
"I love you yaar"
gadhe ki magnetic personality pe
ghodi ho gayi fida
dono ne kasam khayi nahi honge juda

Ghodi ke dad ko hua stress
wo bole ghodi ki shaadi karo
at the earliest
ye sunkar gadha bola
"hum khotte hain kya"
wo ghodi ke saath hua kalti
aur police rah gai haath malti

Gali

Na jane log gali kyun dete hain?
Ye puchnewale chutye hote hain
Pyaron gali hoti hai badi matwali
Kam aye jab baat ho himmatwali

Jo gali na de wo jita kaise hai
uska to life hi shahrukh jaise hai
Galise pyaar kare wo jiska hai ye watan
Ma ke lawdon gali me hi to hai waJan

Bas kya bhai!!!

Roz bolta hai wo
bas kya bhai
Na jaane kitni baar
usne police ke dande khaye
fir bhi kahte hai sabko
bas kya bhai

Har exam mein
ho jata hai fail
dekh ke copy bhi
wo na kar paye
aur bolta hai
bas kya bhai

Roz ped ke niche
khelta hai wo rumy
usme bhi haar jaye
fir bhi
bas kya bhai

Daily karta hai raada
aur pit ta hai
bahar toh thik hai
ghar pe bhi maar khaaye
aur daddy ko bolta hai
bas kya bhai

O' Kamly...O' Kamly...

Na Kaam Ka Na dhaam Ka...
Dushman sare jahaan ka...
Mujhe aisa lagta hai,
Tu bhai fahra khan ka...
Sidhu ka antonymous tu...
Hinduo ka chrismas tu...
Langde ka joota tu...
Ganje ka kanga tu...
tan par sare kapde hai,
Fir bhi hai nanga kyu...
Tu cricket main hara,
Filmo ne tujhe maara...
Aage tu kya gul khilayega...
Ab kya circus main aayega...
Ab teri ijjat utaruga,
Bas maine thanli..
O' kamly O kamly

Daudnewali train

Chuk chuk..Chuk chuk.... karke chali meri train
Laga jaise chadha kisi building pe bulldozer ya crane
Window kholi to awaaz aayi zzzzzooooooo..zooooo...
Khidki k mere saamne thi pyaari si cuckoo

Dhag dhag karke daudi meri train
Cuckoo ko maar gaya koi bada sa plane
Dekhke marte cuckoo ko roya mera dil
Jab check kar raha tha main meri ticket ka bill

Aag baboola hoke maine ticket ko fada
Uttar diya mujhe train se ek TTE jada....

Jali hue Roti

meri jali hue roti...
meri jali hue roti...
jaise kisi nigro ki wohti...
Tave se yuh milgai...
jalgai jalgai jalgai...

bhoknewali bakri

bhau bhau bhau bhau...
kare meri bakri,
jaise woh kare kisi kutte ki mimicry

pass na kare ussey koi duji bakri,
bhau bhau bhau bhau jab kare meri bakri